Year End Thoughts

From cradle to Grave

Another year has gone

Merged in timeless space

From womb of eternity

Peeks a golden ray

To create a new dawn

With the tick of a clock

The crystal ball falls 

To announce a new year

Built of a new calendar 

For human mind to tackle

The ever moving time

What once was One

Hidden dark and obscure

Bursts into epiphany of light

Divides itself in sun moon and stars

Condescending days and nights

Create season in epoch of time

Time abides in mortal hearts

In periods of joy and grief

A solemn ending marks a new beginning 

Memories of old exit quietly

Life blooms upon a new rose

To make a offering for One beyond time.

Savita Tyagi

12. 30. 2013

On A Computer Screen

Some time when you sit and contemplate

Think of your life as a Word document 

Displaying on the computer screen 

Your past deeds are words that have been deleted

Thinking about them won't improve the document 

Trash them for ever

Time is still there to correct your mistakes

Add some good vocabulary 

To polish your dull writings

Let's call them your good deeds

Give your document a supple body

Support of good habits 

And positive thinking

If old ideas are not workable

Format is confused and complicated

Goals not reachable

Don't be afraid to revise and rewrite

Devise new format 

Change the old script

Countless possibilities are there

All just click of a mouse away

But watch out for limits 

Built in for your software

It is not programmed to work 

In systems incompatible

Or to by pass set commands

Just learn to work around those hurdles

And be aware of blips and viruses

I believe such a marvelous tool 

At your disposal demands 

Your full attention

Use it in a best possible way

To create your story.

Icicles

In a night of icy rain

Icicles jingle on my window

Like musical notes

Of silvery crescendo

For earth's winter score.

The crystal decorated grass

With shimmering rain drops

Is a nurturing gift from the gods

To their distant cousin earth-

In need of heaven's grace.

Affluent with silken pearls,

The crimson berries are

Glowing in Christmas light.

The sky displays an occult

Luminosity at celestial height.

The reflective solitude of

The hazy Christmas night

Spreading calm of Nature, 

Is wrapped in a chilled gown

Of amazing wondrous warmth.

This is the holy night of 

Pure beauteous calm,

Of love's dripping in

Icicles formed.

May peace be upon all.

2. 22. 2013

Edited on 12. 6. 2016

Cinquain Twin (Free Verse)

Desire

Lips sealed with a kiss

Lips parted for more

Don't you know my love

Desire for ever more

The saga of ancient lore

Maya (Illusion) In Nature

I am the Eve of your Garden 

Defamed by fate's cruel hand

I bore you in me as a thought beautiful

Carry the energy per your command

I am but the executrix of your deeds.

Cinquain lll lV V (Free Verse)

Practice

To collect scattered energies

Behind a single aim

Is a daunting task for a will strong

Where will falters the practice masters

Practice is the anvil for perfection.

Faith

Even though God is supreme

Still have to deal with world and self within

Believing that you and I are sheafed together

In largesse of life by his will

Makes it easier to love and lean

Unity

This sense of unity fragile and illusive 

Reveals itself wrapped in diversity

You, me and the world around us

Are made to walk together

On a journey of limits farther.

Tea With Squirrel

Squirrel! Come share a cup of tea with me

On a sunny afternoon sitting in the vacant backyard

I watch you coming out of your burrow

Your furry body with beady eyes moving with quick alertness

Up and down the trees before I see you getting settled

On the velvety grass

The sunlight filtering through the dark green trees

In mild breeze makes the waves of sunshine

Dance around you.

Are you as alone as I am?

Do you long for a private evening with your loved one?

Like I do on a quiet afternoon like this.

Again, I see you running around

Are you busy arranging a party?

Like I do sometime to hide away from my boredom

Smiling and greeting the guest

Often as distant at the time of parting

As they were at the time of meeting

And when the last guest has departed

I am happy to slough off the snakeskin 

And settle in the quiet assurance of my back yard

Funny I should have a desire for an intimate smile

Or even a friendly gaze to be exchanged with you.

To converse further tell me

With little ones gone

Is your nest empty like mine?

Not too long ago

The beats of life were different   

I was busy like you running frantically 

Chauffeuring children from school to soccer

To birthday parties

Snatching sometime in between

To peek at the yearend clearance

The coupons for sale priced items

Still lying in the old purse pocket!

At times, I felt out of place for not being able to make it

When all the friends that I knew

Would gather at mall to exchange community news

And lessen the burden of their hearts

Their faces bright with laughter and excitement

Sharing the secret of wonderful life

At bargain prices

While I, possessed with some unknown urge

That brings about a sudden change of heart

Turn my car towards home

To get a moment of peace sitting in my backyard

Wishing for you to share a cup of tea with me.

Savita Tyagi

First written in April. 1998.  Revised a bit to put on blog today.

The Aryans

'Aryan’ an ancient Sanskrit word simply meant noble

From time aeon humans took pride in being noble

Suppressing what was evil and destructive in their nature

Love and compassion was valued over hate and selfishness

Brave and honest one took pride in their words

Honored the pledge and commitment made towards each other

Early on fallibility of human nature was recognized

Virtue and vice was known to reside in one' heart

Conscious effort was to be made to win over ills

If humans were to live in peace with each other

All that was negative in human nature 

Had to be put aside for the good of all

To strive for higher ideals 

To seek divinity within were the goals to be followed

One who was resolute and excelled in that effort 

With patience and persistence was called Noble

Fit to be a leader and guide his fellow citizens 

On the virtuous path of nobility

But the coils of serpent ego weren't made to crush that easy

Nobles in a moment of pride and arrogance having their guards down 

Were easy prey for demonic spell of bewitching vices of human nature

Few escaped with constance watch and discipline 

Others who couldn't tried hiding

Behind the affiliation of a virtuous family name

And called themselves 'Aryaputra' Son of an Aryan

Some even thought belonging to a certain part of land

Gave them the right to be called Aryan

Aryavert ' land pervaded by Aryans is what they called their land

Some even searched for the land original

To label the inhabitants of Aryan Race

As if virtues were hidden in that soil

Aryan culture and beliefs spread far and wide

Cherished and divine were their ideals though

The followers lost their vision

Ictus of virtue fell silent in Aryan heart

Straying away from tough discipline 

They became corrupt and week 

And the name was lost in history

Now if anything is to be learned from their demise 

Is that being an Aryan is a journey individual 

Even when followed collectively

No land, no man, no group could own virtues

It is for each human being to cultivate and practice 

To watch for and subjugate the lower within

It is a path of one's choosing

To be or not to be a Nobel or Aryan

Is a choice to be made

Not a birthright.

Flash Thoughts lll

I am done

Want to quit

Why the idea of quitting is shunned

Favored against a fight to stay afloat

To beat the moment 

Knowing fully the ship must sink

At a given moment 

Unknown unpredictable

One who wants to quit 

Knows fully too 

That choosing is not in one's hands

still...........

Race is on

Time floats

I am a moment

With in a moment

My mass destined to shrink

A slow sucking

In a dark hole

Bubbles in a glass of soda

Sliding upwards  

To burst upon surface

Not knowing their play

A tryst with destiny.

Cinquain ll (Free Verse)

Fine is to test the will 

For courage to take up an  endeavor

But testing the patience and persistence 

To be resolute for a chosen path

Is a finer test for that will.

I Am Singing The Nursery Rhyme

Move over world

CNN and NBC

Don't want to know your trouble 

Sports news and Radio talk

Please don't shout and balk

Poet and Poetess

Sorry to miss your recital

Just didn't seem so vital

Watching the baby and his smile

I am singing the nursery rhyme.

Traditions

Living with out traditions
Rituals and festivals lost
In memory of distant past
We become nonexistent
What is present but
Built upon yesterday's foundation
Brick by brick
Thought by thought
Ideals by ideals
Yet all is transitory
Struggle to keep past alive
Becomes a fight to keep
Present alive
Life changing so fast
Driving around I feel
I am the walking past
Of this new landscape
In present we host
Numerous ghost of past
Becoming ourselves a ghost identity
In desperation looking back
At traditions and rituals
To rescue an image
Disappearing fast
Like notebook and cursive writing.

Four A.M.

Clouds move out

Stars move in

Full moon speaks not

The crickets hush not

And I 

Just restless!

Sit sit sit

Close my eyes and sit

Void and emptiness 

Stretches in night

So calm and serene

Against restive mind 

Once time casts us aside

Life doesn't abide in have to do mode

Yet mind gets restless

Passions and emotions 

Scattered like grass seeds

Some to germinate in green grass

Others to be washed away in autumn rain

Fate presents us the life

Beyond our wildest dreams

But strips away too

The simplest longings

The youthful energy flies away

Without leaving a trace

Like the little bird on garden fence

Thoughts and inspiration

Lost in blank mind

Like stars hidden

Behind clouds

In autumn sky

Subdued sense detect

Only the breath of life

repetitive motion

comes and goes

Soon to be forgotten

In flights of mind

Weariness

The only awareness

That lingers on and on

To take over all else

Sleep stays away 

Like an unwelcome guest

Eventually mind concedes to quiet sitting

A moment of neutral living

Neither of joy nor sadness

All dissolves

In limit less silence

Orange moon shines on window

Big and beautiful

As in prime of youth

Night moves on unhurried  

To give way for another dawn.

Closed For Business

The government shuts down!

Politicians who refuse to negotiate

With hostage takers and pirates

Hold their own president

And country’s welfare hostage

To enforce their own will

Demanding ransom beyond imagination

Height of hypocrisy!

Young politicians and their marathon podium high jacking!

What a waste of time and public resources

Ideals of democracy clutched in power hungry hands

The statue of Freedom sheds tears

Above capital dome

Little red riding hood watch out

Many wolfs out there in Grandma’s clothing

Your soldier friend is on furlough!

Grandma’s house isn’t secure any more!

   

Path To Heaven

Hawkish words from great nations of today

‘Our credibility is at stake’

Justifying the euphoria in support of war

More or less similar words

'Our honor is at stake'

Litter the ancient history

Of kings and warrior race

And their antique ways of

Settling the differences 

With a quick draw of sword 

Different times different people

Same arrogance and same vanity

The real culprit 

A desire and hunger

For power and supremacy 

Built in and hidden 

Deep in human heart

Seekers of peace still called coward 

Settling issues by tip of a sword

Or with the barrel of a gun

Not to mention countless barrage 

Of new weapons

A bold choice for many

To defend righteousness 

To rid the world of evil

An eternally glorified path

For fighters and martyrs

Leading straight to Heaven

A call Humanity can't seem to resist or reject !

Summer Afternoon

Summer afternoon is still hot.
Sun moves in blue sky
Stinging and biting the earth
Silence drifts in and out of mild breeze
Like Earth's heart beating on ventilator
I wish for heat to go away
But it sticks upon white concrete
With dead worms and skeleton bugs
The spark of life that morning sun ignites
Vanishes in afternoon heat
Nothing seems to be moving
In that pensive and harsh landscape
The only soft touch comes from a pink Hosta
Its green foliage
Limping to survive the heat
A glint of light flicker among leaves
As a patch of cloud
Moves in blue sky to cover the sun
A shadow of dark spreads through
Not so green a lawn
Like a giant merciful
Hand to shade the burning earth
A soothing balm for my own weariness
I stand there to watch
A fiery afternoon
Getting subdued
A gladness returning to tired heart.

A Cherub Descends

Lovely day for a Cherub to descend!
Muses get your Cithara out!
Roses bloom and Robin sings
Shaisha stands guard
Where lies the baby Kumar
Parvati shaped him
With turmeric and gold
Silvery dust of moon to adorn
Like a pink cotton candy
His is a beauty to behold
Unmatched in his velour
Pride and joy of his mother
Stands tall with his father
Oh! The waiting grand parents
Not to mention uncle and aunts
So anxious to dole out
A hug and a kiss to blow out
Waiting! waiting! waiting!
An angel is descending

Well! Well! Well!
The bundle of joy is here
May God bless him 
With all the love and care

With hugs and kisses
Happy Grandma

Retired

Mingling with the world
Required no more
Refrigerator loaded
With T.V. Dinner and burritos
An ever new world
Suffuse in television
Looks and talks like us
I touched the screen
Feel of a deadpan
Yet warm as my own hand
So surreal !

Rant Is Permitted

This life is as true as words spoken
Once released becomes a lie spoken

Once relationships were like a rock
A firm support for climbers
Now it feels like a swamp
Still one must wade through

Old love wears out
New ones aren't sturdy

Keep your legs strong
To carry you through
Others' shoulder are strong enough
Just to carry your dead body
In  life on a wheel society
Shoulders are just a cliche

learn to spend some time by yourself
However hard it may be
One can be alone even in a crowd
Yet have great company in a shadow loud

If you can pay for services
Social structure is there for you
Hospital, nurses, doctors, psychiatrist
Food, electricity, water and home
It is pay as you go society
No place like home is also a cliche

Love! What about love?
look at chameleon
Love resembles some thing like that
It is always there if you can spot it
If you can't don't worry
life has many riddles to solve
love is just one of it
Move on............

One more thing
Don't think twice about
What you just read!

Enjoy your summer and your wanderings
Summer's delight falls alike
On sylvan and country side.

Cinquain

Like wealth over the years
Love accumulates
Like wealth it disappears
Leaving behind longing
And a sweet memory

An Olive Morning

It rained all night
Slow drizzle like sweet dreams streaming in droopy eyes
Till a thunderstorm bursts with lightning like a bad dream
Eyes open with a shock, traumatized sleepy mind tries to peek in darkness
Lightning provides a terrifying flash of light not to console but to send further chills
I tried to go back to sleep but thunder keeps me awake
The window was open to let the gentle breeze in
Instead it sends shrieking wind with loud noise
Rain and lightning was making the night sinister
I could hear it in bird's sound
It was not the joyful chirping to greet the morning
But fearful wailing
Were their nests rain soaked?
I wondered!

Birds aren't the only one
Millions of millions have their roofs leaking in a night like this
Some don't even have roofs
We cry out for natural disasters
Yet Man made calamities are creating tent houses
Faster than Nature could
Numbers are increasing day by day
Safe areas are barricaded with barb wire
Properties have more value than human life.

All of us struggle to create wealth with hard work and fair earnings
But for some there are no just wages
Only laws to prevent the saturation of wealth
Wealth and power concentrated and consolidated among few
Most accept the system
Not all have the fighting spirit
A day goes by just to make their own living
We see, we hear, we feel the hard ship from a distance
Like drenching rain and  the wailing birds in terrifying darkness
But dark night and rain was still comforting
Strangely and surely moments of peace creep into suffering.

Life offers much more than what happens
In our day to day life
It Offers an olive morning
Extending into azure sky of mid day
And receding in to a persimmon sunset
A desire and hope to live and enjoy the realm of possibilities.
 
I drift in and out of my senses
The thunder and lightning disappeared
Sun's rays started filtering from nylon mash of clouds
The cheerful energy of dawn was in the air
Rain soaked lawn was looking greener
In that olive morning.

Wisdom Of Time

Custodian of wealth become robbers
Protector of liberty
spy on liberties
God’s representatives can’t find God
Commander in chief is not a warrior
Minority tramples over majority
Leaders scratch their heads
Holding rule book of Democracy
Law of life supersedes all laws
Reality and idealism
Flawed concept of human mind
Rotate in sphere of time
Let spirit of time be your guardian
May the wisdom of time be upon you.

Love Ever Young

Love is never old

Like a wilted rose

It still spreads fragrance

Like a burning incense

Its aura is in the ashes

Like a baby's sweet smile

Upon mother's heart it lies

Even when apart in miles

Love is ever young

For the ones 

Who care to love.

Siren Went Off

Siren went off
Tried to ignore it
afternoon  was floating lazily
Curiosity for outside world at its lowest
still I thought
Tornado forming somewhere
this is the season
Oklahomans cross their fingers
Hold their hearts
And wait
where and what nature's wreath will bring
All watching the gray skies
hoping and praying .....
siren went off again and again
dark clouds were forming
Bright sunshine had disappeared
it was hard to  ignore any more
I came out of bedroom and turned T.V.on
all local channels were active with Tornado news
a big swath of Oklahoma territory  covered with bright red
Our town included in danger zone
I was all alert now
Trying to figure out which way it was coming
And where it was going
weathermen trying to keep up with the massive dark gray of sky
Moving, tightening slowly transforming in to grey tunnel
A moving messenger of death and destruction
Yet creating a thrill for storm chasers
I felt excitement building in my chest
it was far from us
Weather clock showed the time
It would be hitting Edmond soon
One fiftieth, one sixty four, hundred and seventy eight
Familiar street names repeated one by one
Clock was ticking
I looked at my innermost closet
We would need to hide!
the twister was ferocious
sky became all dark
Fierce wind hundred and fifty miles per hour
Commentators were shouting for people to take cover
I was amazed at the exact pinpointing of locations
How quickly it came and passed through our crossing street
Down the street it went crossing highway
the fear, the thrill, the anticipation
All building and subsiding faster than I could think
but we were spared
a sigh of relief passed through my lips
It passed next town and then next town
Before touching down
Uprooting trees
Tossing houses and trailers
Like Lego blocks
Twisted metal, wood, bricks
Clothing, sofa chairs
Scattered all around
Life was simply a pile of trash
we were spared but others were not so lucky
death and destruction was there with the blink of an eye
with horror and disbelief I watched the images on T.V.
the formidable power of Mother Nature
Against the sorrow and despair of humanity
how quickly life changes
Still we pick up the pieces and move on
building, helping, consoling each other
Such is the human resilience.





I started writing just to take my mind off.
as I write this another tornado has hit Oklahoma
A massive mile and a half black funnel
Leveling blocks and blocks of neighborhood
I am simply overwhelmed
Frozen and numb with disbelief
Pray for strength
O restless mind! Just pray for strength!

5.20. 2013

Devotion

"All actions become ritual of worship when offered with love and devotion."

Devotion

I often ask my self what is devotion. Who should I be devoted to? I have been reading Bhagvad Geeta with the group. Lord Krishna often says my devotee comes to me. I wish I could put my faith in the phrase. Don’t we all go to Him? Even though I consider Lord Krishna an avatar, worship and pray to him with my entire heart still I do not know who am I praying to? Krishna the charioteer of life: Krishna the Cosmic Spirit or Krishna residing with in as my eternal self? It is interesting to read and note how Lord Krishna interchanges the word ‘I’ to address him, and also to address The Supreme self or the Self of all others in nature and universe. In other words devotion to one can be extended and interchanged with any one of them.

I have a small place set for prayer with various deity pictures, diya, water, incense and prayer books etc. and pray regularly. Mostly it is part of my routine with out much depth yet there have been times when I become aware of an emotion of deep reverence taking place in a moment of prayer. Some time it is just spontaneous, some time just part of routine and some time a sublime feeling needing an expression bursting as a soft prayer. It needs no receiver, object, or deity. The loving expression contained in prayer reflects peace, tranquility and harmony with in myself as well as around me. The entire world is of calm beatitude at that moment. I look at the little light of diya burning steadily and think our devotion is really to the burning of this little flame of life. It is built in all of us to burn in many shapes and forms. For some burnings are intense and move through turmoils and tribulations of life; for others it might be a little easy but we all are devoted to it in one way or other and we all are responsible to nurture a sense of devotion and for creating an atmosphere of peace and harmony with in us as well as around us.    

Power Of Prayer

All in all would it make any difference

If God is one, many or none at all

I wonder if some body sifts through

Silent layers of our prayers

Or is it our own barrier

Against life’s formidable despair

Like every day swallowing

A white little pill of Bayer

Take a Bayer and say a prayer

Or no Bayer and no prayer

Happiness lies in

How we reconcile

You and me

Creator and creation

Read a little

Write a little

Listen to birds

Sing your own song

Live alone

Or follow the norm

Brahman, Buddha or Ganesh

Moses, Jesus or Mohammad

Pray to all or none at all

Go to Temple, Masjid or Gurudwara

Bathe in Ganges or be mesmerize at Grand Canyon

But bow with reverence and humility

When ever a little ripple of joy

Washes away the agitations of your heart

That is where lies the power of prayer.

Savita Tyagi

3.30. 2013

यादें

किसे याद रखें किसे भूल जायें
अपनों के बीच क्यों ये गैर याद आयें
जानी पहचानी थी वो छोटी सी दुनियॉ
बाबुल का अंगना और सखियों की गलियॉ

वक्त ने बदल ली हमसे छुप के करवट
अजनबी हैं रास्ते अब अजनबी हैं वादियाँ
किसे पहचाने किसे हम बुलायें
धुधंली सी पड़ गयी हैं रिश्तो की कहानियाँ

अपनी समझ के गली में बढ़े कदम
भूल गये ठौर पर वो सांकलें चढ़ी थी बन्द
किससे नजर मिलायें गुफ्तगू करें कहँा
बचपना तो खो गया बेजार हैं जवानियाँ

भटकते रहे घन्टो पीरे दरगाह पर
सजदे किये हजारों मन्नतें भी माँगी
फिर भी नजर न आया वो नूरानी चेहरा
देखते थे जिसको दियो की कतार में

घड़ी थाम के हम तो बैठे थे कबसे
दामन में चाहा था वक्त को छुपाना
खुद ही छुप रहे हैं अब ढलती शाम के संग
धुधंलुका घिरा कब ये नही हमने जाना

कैसी दिवाली कैसी वो होली
रगं पुराने हैं यादों में समाये
पहचान सकते तो पहचान लेते
मगर चढ़ चुके हैं ऐ वतने माटी
तुझ पर भी मुझ पर भी रंग कुछ पराये

किसे याद रक्खे किसे भूल जायें
अपनो के बीच क्यों ये गैर याद आयें ।

अगर अल्फाज़ लमहे होते तो यह हर लमहा हमने जिया है ।

Shraddha

सत्त्वानुरूपा सवॆस्य श्रद्धा भवति भारत ।
श्रद्धामयो अयं पुरुषो यो यत् श्रद्धा स एव सः ।।Ch.17: Sh.3
Translation:
The Shraddha of every one accords, O Bharata, to the truth of his being. man's very being is Shraddamaya ( Faith-inhering, faith- instinct, faith-essenced): of whatever Shradda
one is, that verily he is.
 The faith of each man takes the shape , hue, quality given to it by his stuff of being, his constituting temperament, his innate power of existence…Gita tells us that this Purusha, this soul in man is as it were made of Shraddha, a faith, a will to be, a belief in itself and existence, and whatever is that will or constituting belief in him, he is that and that is he....
If a man or the soul in a man consists of the faith which is in him... then it follows that the truth he sees or wills to live is for him the truth of his being, the truth of himself that he has created or is creating and there can be for him no other real truth. This truth is a thing of his inner and outer action, a thing of his becoming, of the soul's dynamics, not of that in him which never changes. He is what he is today by some past will of his nature sustained and continued by a present will to know, to believe and to be in his intelligence and vital force, and whatever new turn is taken by this will and faith active in his very substance, that he will tend to become in the future. We create our own truth of existence in our own action of mind and life, which is another way of saying that we create our own selves....
Note: This passage has been taken from 'Sri Aurobindo in Essays on the Gita'
          Sanskrit Shloka and Translation is from 'Bhagavad Gita - In light of Sri Aurobindo' edited by Maheshwar.

We Are Being Watched

This is such a creepy and weird feeling

Unsuspecting innocent hearts

Being watched

Not by police or bandits

Or by hunters of bad credits

We are being watched for our psychology

By the unseen eye of technology

What I read, what I watch

Where I shop, where I stop

Who my friends are

Or if I have any at all

All is gathered in by technocracy

I wonder what market price is fetched

For my unique sketch!

It must be high!

Or may be dime a dozen for my kind!

But imagine for them to display it back

In flashing red colors!

On Facebook or computer

That I should study palmistry

To know my ancestry

Or eat cucumber

To improve sense of humor

And my friend

This is not the only thing to sigh

Look out for that camera hanging high

On traffic lights, stores, and parking space

Some time I feel like making a monkey face

Or sticking my tongue to it!

This is as far as I go in crossing the line of decency!

However I have lot of fun in thinking-

If all the mothers taught their young children

About that camera and its eye everywhere

There could be lots of monkey faces for

A computer genius to handle!

I hope some day techno eye would know

That we are not just www.com

And we do wear pom-pom!

Savita Tyagi

Snow Flakes Of February

Morning snow

Serene silent and joyous

Falling with a slant

Like silvery strings of wire

Connecting earth with sky 

Soft white snowflakes

Shower kisses upon

Budding daffodils and blue hyacinth   

Hopes and aspirations of spring

Dancing in their young heads

In that pure innocent beauty

No bitterness of emotions

Hiding under the icy cold heart of January

No howling winter winds

Screaming with aches and pains of love gone sour

Soft big snowflakes drenching the earth

In quick succession

Hungry dirt becomes soft and plump

Bare tree branches hold the flakes

In loving embrace as long as they can

This will not last long

February snow fades as quickly as it falls

Magic of young love disappears

Yet like a young maiden

 Motherhood of earth holds in its bosom

 All that love and its fragrant memory

To bring out in blooming flowers.

  

So I Ran Away

                                                                      

So I ran away

Not knowing how hard it would be, or not caring to know

You pleaded for me not to go

We have something good going on

I know there is a bit of ice on the surface

We are under the weather

But the spring will come

The ice will melt

And the stream of love will flow again

You kept repeating again and again

But in my haste I only saw my need to get away.

I was chocking under the weight of this love forever

Needed to find the little “I”

So I told you

I was going to break away with the past

How?

In that moment of rush I did not stop to find the answer

I packed my things with a pretense of false urgency

Intentionally leaving the things behind

That would remind me of life with you

I stole a glance at your face

Hoping that you would not notice my doing so

I did not want to hurt you

But had to brush aside every thing that would remind me of you

Saying a frigid goodbye, I stole a glance again

To see you standing, leaning against the door

My heart was aching

But I could not dare to turn and watch you crying

Or so I imagined you to be doing as you look at the empty road behind me

We would move on

Again I pretended to be strong and casual about it

                            

Now in my room alone, with my suitcase open

Why do I see you everywhere?

Honey! You want some water?

I hear you say as I open the door of refrigerator to get the water bottle out

Standing in bathroom, brushing my teeth

I hear you lodge a complain in my ear

I hate this toothpaste flavor

Tomorrow I would buy a new one.

Silently I heard myself echoing your words

Changing to my nightgown, I thought

This seems to be getting old; I must buy a new one

I couldn’t bring myself to accept that

I can still feel your hands caressing me through the softness of nightgown

                     

In my dreams I see you again and again

Sitting on the bed holding the phone in your hands.

I hear a whisper floating over the planes of time and space

A faint calling touching my heart

Making me restless

I wake up perspiring

In the darkness of my room

I tried to feel your presence by my side

The phone, the chair, the gown over it, the air out side

Every thing was still and shadowed by the darkness of night

But I felt like passing through a storm

              

I have spent days wandering aimless on the streets of this strange town

In a daze I walk around stores

Reaching for a dress I hold my hand half way back ignoring the voice stalking me

Why don’t you try it honey

I drink my coffee alone in café, tormented by the screams of my heart

And the deception of my wandering eyes

Trying to lure somebody to join me over my table

               

In my dreams I feel you beside me

Despite all my efforts to brush your memories aside

You haven’t left an inch of me

Across the mountains over the oceans

You have found your way to be with me

I can still feel the intensity of your love

Of those sweet tender moments

When we were together

The passion that you carried in your voice

When you said

You are mine forever

Not just tonight or tomorrow

Not just in this life but life after life

I would be with you no matter which corner of the world you are in

I had laughed hard on your proclamations

Do you really believe in life after death or reincarnation? I had asked

Why not? Believing in existence beyond the state called Death like believes in the word called Hope

You don’t question its validity- do you?

In my desire to live for the moment

I had paused only for a second to reconcile with your thoughts

                      

Now seeing you in my dreams

Hearing those endless voices

Coming from the corner of my heart

That I never knew existed

I just wonder, is there such a thing as for ever?

Are we united with each other beyond our physical existence?

What lies beneath the conscious moments of past and present?

Was there some truth in your words?

Are my dreams reflections of my desires?

Or is it a solemn evidence of your love

Crossing the boundaries of time and space to reach me

Am I dreaming of you to clear the confused state of my mind

Or is it the stream of your love flowing to its destination on its own accord?

Sweet and cooling as it ever was

Tonight in the darkness of my room I long for you

Tonight pulled away by some magical energy

The past seems to melt away in present and

Melting away with it are all my doubts and my questions

Alone in my room I feel like I have never been closer to you

That loving you has never been so easy

A dense fog lifted from my mind I want to go back to sleep

Hoping to be with you

The distinction between reality and imagination

Has never been so blurred

Dreams have never been so sweet

There has never been a better place to find solace for my restless spirit

Savita Tyagi

Random Thoughts

Enveloped with Cosmic eternity

Happy and content is my little self

I walk upon earth
Safe and secure

Like a child playing around mother
Oblivious of lurking perils
In shadowy dark

Evil reigns when trust is lost.

Mind is disturbed with loss of trust.

Disturbed mind creates crux emotions

And crooked reasoning

Love walks away from troubled heart.

One can possess comfort and privilege

But trust has to be earned.

In competition all run yet only one winner

In cooperation all walk hand in hand

Each landing support to other

Strength lies in cooperation.

We all work under the bewitching spell of
Nature given Gunas (traits)

These are like spring, summer and winter of life

Rotating and over powering all our actions

The spring light of Satwa illuminates path with love and joy

The summer passion of Rajas lends its hand
In creating and fulfilling the purpose

The decay and inertia of winter Tamas
Forces us to retreat in quiet repose

The tranquil mind that learns
The balance of emotion and reason

Walks through seasons with calm strength
Plays it music upon an instrument
Tuned to its finest beyond rust

This is the yogi mind
Whose guidance we should seek and trust.

Anxiety

 Storm hits the calm waters

Aching eyes get no rest

Unceasing mental conversation

Rolls out scenario like an old projector rolling out images

Past mid night- past three a.m. nothing but darkness

For bleary eyes

Tear soaked cheeks

That ocean of emotions, swelled by the turbulent phases

Impulse of sorrow beats high in stormy heart

Anguished by its own insatiable appetite for perceived suffering

It feeds on my pain and folly

Sinking deep I try to grapple in dark waters

Here endurance looses its face

Moon lit nights and sunlit days hide from reason

Its boundaries as vast and infinite as my imagination

Shattered and broken I am in that underworld

But stop! Collect yourself!

Go ahead and swim

Call upon to that faith

The innate light of inner strength

Pierce the icy chain of thoughts

Glide back from that ocean of darkness

And reach for open shore

Miles and miles of sunshine awaits there

In its blessings

Wash yourself dry and hold together.